Shouldn’t have said “Yes”

I’ve been here before 

and I said I won’t come back anymore

I’ve done this to myself before

and I thought I won’t do it anymore

I keep saying “Yes”

taking all the responsibilities

thinking I can manage all these services

but I’m back here once again

drowning in stress

making myself more depress

I wish I can manage to make some progress

and soon to find a path to slowly digress

Would it be Nice?

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Sitting here in a corner, in a spot

Blending in with the shadows of my heart

Waiting for you to pass by

Waiting for your light to lift my day

Waiting for the brightness to come

 

Sitting here patiently

Pleasing myself with loud melody

Watching the time

Hoping that you will come

Oh please, just come

 

But would it be nice?

If I just say my goodbye?

Even if I wanna hold you tight

Even if I wanna stare in your eyes

And would it be nice?

If I just stand up and leave

And walk away

And never hold back,

And never ever look back.

 

It’s past my free time and I have to go

Left with disappointment

Left without that glow

‘cause you never came

Or was I just not looking your way?

 

But would it be nice?

If I just say my goodbye?

Even if I wanna hold you tight

Even if I wanna stare in your eyes

And would it be nice?

If I just stand up and leave

And walk away

And never hold back,

And never ever look back.

 

Oh, would it be nice to just let this feelings go

Even if I love you so

Because I know that it’s impossible

For you to see me here

And waiting is just a big waste of time

So I have to make myself realize

That I must stop putting tears in my eyes

Back To Where I belong

tears_in_the_wind_by_robersilva-d6uq2fb

This day has been a tough day

I haven’t seen you and I long for your light

You moved to another place yet I found you here

And since last week, I’ve been sitting outside just to feel you were near

But today I took all the courage to come inside to where you are

To feel closer to you although you seemed so far

I pretend not to see you but I must have at least one glance

Now I’m deafened by my heart that beats so loud

Trying to focus on my laptop, when I know you were sitting just behind the background

But times like these are like bombs

My heart ticks the countdown before it all explode

You grabbed your stuff and walked out that door

And my heart explode of another rejection

I wondered what was wrong with me

Because it seemed fine for you to see everyone but me

Now I’m drowned by despondency

So I must leave and never return

And glue myself in the darkness

Because that is where I really belong.

I Don’t Know…

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I don’t know who you are

But I know it’s you,

Even when you’re walking from afar.

I don’t know what I feel inside,

But I know it’s something that’s hard to hide.

I don’t know since when I started feeling this,

But I know I’m falling deeper from this abyss.

I don’t know where you are,

But I know it felt like you are a star.

I don’t know why I’m still looking for you,

But I know you complete my day whenever I do.

I don’t know how to stop this feeling for you,

But I know it’s not something that I can just simply undo. 

New Spot

Is there any place where I could just suddenly disappear?

Forget all my sorrows and hide away from my fears

This is one of those days when I don’t want anyone near

‘cause I can feel all the pressure from this atmosphere

And for now, nothing can make my mind clear

 

I took a walk, away from everyone

And long for the warmth of the sun

But there I see none

Nothing to reverse my frown

No reason to have some fun

Only left to drown

 

I sat down and let myself think

Probably to let all my emotions to sink

When coldness is the only one that’s accommodating,

In this day when my energy is not participating.

And with all the shivers that I got

I wandered around once again

And finally found that new perfect spot.Image

Sorry

I just want to say sorry for suddenly leaving you here

I didn’t mean to just disappear

I made my hands full,

thinking it might not be that cruel

But I lost my way

and drowned myself

Now, I’m back 

and I promise to keep myself on-track

Confessions of Blue (recollection)

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It all began as a piece of illusion

A little distraction from workload depression

An escape from jagged transition

Perhaps, it must have been a simple inspiration

 

I look forward to each and every day

Knowing that you’ll brighten up my day

Without the sun I still have your light

A light that shines so bright

that secretly gives foreign bliss inside my heart

 

Nothing else exist when you are near

And my world seems to slow my dear

All my troubles disappear

Making me feel there’s nothing to fear

 

But on that day of confession

I apologize for my confused reaction

Perhaps, an overflow from my emotion

Making me do an insouciant decision

 

Thus, I trained to lock myself

Tried so hard to find someone else

Project that there is nothing left

Making myself to be stealth

 

Told everyone that I am so over you

But I can’t hide myself from what I feel for you

Decided to drown myself with workload

And fit my emotions into something that no one can decode

 

So how can you blame me for feeling this?

When I tried everything to escape from this abyss

Only falling back to love you

I guess there’s nothing else that I can do

But admit to myself that I’m still into you

 

So let me keep this emotion

Although I know that I’ll never be in your intuition

‘Coz you’ll never see my dedication

Even though you’ve been my only inspiration

In all of my successful decisions

And I promise that my feelings will never descend

Although I have to put this poem into an end.